Rules to Live By

Rule #1                                                                                
Never give yourself a haircut after three alcoholic beverages of any kind.

Rule #2
You need only two tools:  WD40 and duct tape.  If it doesn't move and it should, use WD40.  If it moves and shouldn't, use the tape.

Rule #3
The five most essential words for a healthy, vital relationship are "I apologize" and "You are right".

Rule #4
Everyone seems normal until you get to know them.

Rule #5
When you make a mistake, make amends immediately.  It's easier to eat crow while it's still warm.

Rule #6
The only really good advice that your mother ever gave you was:  "Go!  You might meet somebody!"

Rule #7
If he/she says that you are too good for him/her - believe them.

Rule #8
Learn to pick your battles.  Ask yourself, "Will this matter one year from now?"  How about one month?  One week?  One day?

Rule #9
Never pass up an opportunity to pee.

Rule #10
If you woke up breathing, congratulations!  You have another chance!

Rule #11
Living well really is the best revenge.  Being miserable because of a bad or former relationship just might mean that the other person was right about you.

Rule #12
Work is good, but it's not that important.

Rule #13
And finally, be really nice to your friends and family.  You never know when you are going to need them to empty your bedpan.